me watching the Olympics: oh wow, that was impressive!
announcer: ANOTHER DISASTROUS MISTAKE!

Your handwriting. The way you walk. Which china pattern you choose. It’s all giving you away. Everything you do shows your hand. Everything is a self-portrait. Everything is a diary.

Chuck Palahniuk  (via exoticwild)

(via jonkakes)

(Source: a-dolf-in, via pizza)

News in Britain: stamps have gone up 14 pence
News in America: cannibal eats man's face
Britain: wat.
News in America: man throws his own intestines at police
News in Canada: body parts mailed to government
News in America: Women kills and eats 3 week old son
Britain: erm
News in Britain: our butterfly population is still declining

Wolves and women wed for life. You take one, that’s a marriage. The wolf is part of you from that day on, and you’re part of him. Both of you will change.

(Source: aryastarks, via smillanfeels)

alynu:

trebaolofarabia:

life-at-taco-bell:

You would think that teenagers would be the rudest customers when really it’s mostly old, middle-aged people. 

Teens always look terrified as customers.

I am always terrified as a customer.

(via those-ginger-tresses)

thatfunnyblog:

i have never felt so bad for a confused mother

thatfunnyblog:

i have never felt so bad for a confused mother

(Source: tasseomancer, via bri-ecrit)

c-cassandra:

i think we all know this one person…

(via those-ginger-tresses)